My Worst Christmas
by Jiggy'N'FairPhili
Summary: Remus has never had a good Christmas. This one is looking to be the worst one ever, however, he's soon in for a stroke of luck. Slash.


2013 Xmas Present for Frizz, my PsycoHippy friend! Even though we haven't written for ages I thought I'd give you a shot of the good old pairings for Christmas because no matter how much we grow up we will never grow out of these:

Disclaimer: After 5 years of fiction writing these characters still aren't mine.

Warning: Slashalash.

"So what was your worst Christmas?" James said through the roasted nuts he was eating. All the Marauders were sat round the fire in the common room, the sun had set, and they were just finishing the last of the mince pies.

"Pretty much any Christmas I haven't spent here." Sirius said casually, "You haven't met my mother; every day with her is a nightmare."

"Oh yeah, sorry, forgot she's a mental case."

"Bit of an understatement. She makes professor Dumbledore look sane." Remus let himself laugh along with the other Marauders, but watching Sirius he could see that beneath the jokes were Christmases like his own; ones he'd rather not talk about. He took another swig of his butterbeer as his eyes lingered perhaps too long on Sirius' carelessly styled hair and dark eyes.

"So James what's your worst Christmas?" Sirius teased back, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't really have one," James shrugged, "Mum always makes a massive effort. The foods good, Dad always plays Qudditch with me in the garden."

"Then why are you spending Christmas here?" Peter asked.

"Well when I found out it was just going to be us four over Christmas I couldn't pass up the opportunity now could I? You know, use the opportunity to get up to a bit of mischief."

"Not again James!" Can't we just have a nice quiet Christmas?" Remus rolled his eyes.

"That all depends." James replied, Remus didn't like the look in his eyes. It was the look he got when a full moon was coming around and they were planning something more destructive than usual, "Was it you who finished my cauldron cakes the other day?"

"Yes." Remus said without thinking. Then he put his hand over his mouth. He hadn't meant to admit to that.

"So what is your worst Christmas Remus?" At the question he felt a tugging, like his tongue was trying to run away without him. Then a horrible thought occurred to him.

"What did you put in my butterbeer?"

"Nothing, we just really wanted to know what your worst Christmas was. After all you're always so evasive about telling us." James waggled his eyebrows and Remus could see the laughter in his eyes.

"So worst Christmas ever?"

Remus knew he couldn't stop his tongue from moving, her could feel the veritaserum working through his veins now. But he more than one horrible Christmas, and they were all his worst in the own right. Perhaps he could bend the truth.

"When I was six I woke up on Christmas morning. And I was so excited I rushed downstairs, but there were no presents under the tree. I went looking for my dad; he'd been called into work. The only person I could find was Mum. She gave me a piece of coal, and told me it was all Santa had brought me that year because I was a horrible boy."

A silence followed these words.

"James, maybe this was a bad idea, "Sirius shook his head," He didn't want to tell us, and I see why now – that was brutal."

"I don't believe him. We know his Mum was a bitch, he wouldn't have been so worried about telling us that. Remus I'm going to ask again, worst Christmas?"

"Three years ago, it was a full moon before Christmas, on Christmas Eve I had such a brutal transformation I broke every bone in my body and spent Christmas knocked out in St Mungos, having almost every bone in my body repaired." Remus said quickly, he could feel his heart pounding as the veritaserum pulled at him, he couldn't tell them his worst Christmas he would die of embarrassment.

"Come on James, leave him be. I know you thought it was all in good fun, but this stopped being fun about five minutes ago." Sirius gave James a dark look.

"Sure, whatever," James said, "I just don't get why he won't tell us. We're supposed to be his friends. Sure you don't want to tell us Remmie?" he wedeled.

Remus didn't trust himself to speak, he simply stood and left, he couldn't help but give the Gryffindor portrait a bit of a slam behind him.

James could be such an ass. Especially when he thought what he was doing was hilarious.

Remus kicked a suit of armor, "Hey!" it exclaimed tinily as it promptly kicked him right back.

Remus only felt more dejected than ever as he wondered away, it was yet another ruined Christmas. He didn't want to go back to the common room in case James started in on him again; he didn't want to go to the library, because that would be the first place they would look for him. All Remus could do was let his feet wonder and think about Christmas and how much he hated it.

His worst Christmas had been last year. And it had been the first Christmas he had ever been excited about too. The only Gryffindor's staying over Christmas were him and Sirius. It was usually only the two of them in their friendship group who stayed, but last year it would be just them out of the whole house.

Remus had always preferred Sirius over his other friends. But it had been towards the end of their third year that Remus had started to look at him differently from all his other friends. Remus had started to know that the leap his stomach did when Sirius' eyes twinkled was far from cordial, he used every chance he could to get close to Sirius because his smell was intoxicating, whenever Sirius touched him, even just a clap on the back he would feel sick with anticipation.

Last Christmas Remus had decided it was time for Sirius to know how he felt. He knew it was dangerous for their friendship, but Sirius had become his obsession, his studies were suffering because Sirius was all he could think about, he even once caught himself smelling Sirius' pillow. However it went Remus needed closure.

He had planned everything perfectly. They had a great day, Christmas diner, snow ball fights, Remus even went for a broom stick ride with Sirius (even though Remus hated brooms – they felt so unnatural). Then when they came back to the common room they had some Fire Whiskey that Sirius had stolen from the kitchen, this is where Remus plan had gone horribly horribly wrong. He didn't count on Sirius being able to hold his liquor so well.

"You know Sirius I reckon the portraits are on Filches side. How else would he find out about like – wrongness so fast. He's like speedier than a really speedy thing."

Sirius looked at him skeptically, they were lounging in chairs by the fire, and the fire whiskey was half gone, "A really speedy thing?"

"Yeah, like… I don't know." Remus flapped his arms, threw himself back into the sofa and shut his eyes contentedly.

"I don't think any more fire whiskey for you," Sirius said, laughing as he reached over to take the bottle from Remus' hand.

"No!" Remus slurred, and pulled on the bottle, just as Sirius grabbed it. The result being that Sirius was pulled half out of chair and onto Remus lap.

Remus found himself blinking in surprise a mere inch from Sirius face, feeling his hot breath on his lips.

Hindsight is a fabulous thing, and Remus's biggest wish was that he could go back in time and stop himself from leaning in and pressing his lips up against Sirius's.

He had been so drunk at the time; he couldn't even remember how wonderful he was sure it had been.

But Sirius had pulled away. Remus had stumble to bed, and Sirius had never mentioned it again. Taking a lead from Sirius, Remus hadn't talked about it either. In fact neither of them ever mentioned it again. Sirius pretended it had never happened. And while that saved their friendship in some ways it hurt more than an outright rejection ever could.

"I thought I would find you here." Remus jumped and turned, only to see Sirius had followed him, now Remus looked, outside and round the edge of the lake.

"Why?"

"Well whenever you're lost deep in thought you always go outside. And always in the exact opposite direction of the Whomping Willow." Sirius grinned, "Anyhow aren't you cold?"

"Yes I am." Remus replied, now he stopped to think about it he was up to his ankles in snow making his feet horrible and soggy, and he was only wearing a t-shirt.

"Are you going to come back in?" Sirius suggested slowly.

"No. I have no interest in being harassed by James. I'll just wait till you guys have gone to bed. Then I'll make my way up."

They were both silent, and Remus watched as Sirius seemed to weigh something up in his head.

"You're worst Christmas, was it last year?"

The veritaserum nodded Remus' head for him.

Sirius looked hurt, "Was kissing me so bad that it won out over breaking every bone in your body?"

"No!" Remus blurted out, appalled, "I was just sorry for the way I did it. I wanted to be really romantic and I ruined everything, I had one shot to tell you how I felt and I screwed it up." Remus couldn't even bare to meet Sirius' eyes, all he could do was stare at a point over his shoulder and hope that Sirius would do him the grace of pretending this year never happened either.

"So you didn't just kiss me because you were drunk?"

"What?" Remus couldn't see where the conversation was going, where was the disgust in Sirius' voice. Remus could hear the crunch of snow; he looked to see Sirius walking closer. "I'm sorry; I've made you uncomfortable haven't I?"

"Remus look at me," Sirius reached up his hand, gently grasping Remus' chin and pulled his face towards his. Remus eyes roamed Sirius' face, taking in his perfectly pale skin, his shivering lips, his hair blowing in wisps across his face and his deep black eyes, shimmering in the moon light. "Hearing you say that would never make me uncomfortable. I thought you only did what you did last year because you were drunk. Hell - I didn't even think you remembered."

Remus blinked up at Sirius, he could feel his stomach churning, his head was light with anticipation.

"I would never only do that because I was drunk. I'm in love with you."

And Remus could feel Sirius hot breath on his skin, he could smell the Christmas cinnamon on Sirius' breath, and he was so close.

Remus knew all the crappy Christmases up till now had been worth it because he had clearly been saving all his luck for this perfect moment.

"I love you." Remus could feel Sirius's warm whisper on his lips, and shut his eyes as Sirius mouth met his own, his hands in his hair holding him close, "I love you so much – and I'm never going to let you go."


End file.
